klaus hargreeves 👻 ic inbox

[substances]

@ GOSUCKADICK You've reached Klaus Hargreeves, please leave a message. voice | video | text

Comments

text;

[redwinekindofgirl]

(( after this thread takes place))

Hey babe, I think I just got the 'hurt him and I'll kill you' speech off one of your brothers.

[substances]

what really? which one?

[redwinekindofgirl]

Ben.

[substances]

oh wow. sorry i wasnt really expecting that. just dont tell him you gave me pot ok? we can blame it on sum1 whos not here.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Yeah didn't mention the pot. Think he got the wrong idea about me tho.

text » 7/15

[deadlycurves]

[During this post]

I don't know much about him, but I don't trust that guy offering to help you with the computers, Klaus.
He was in the last place I was in.
May not be the same one, he doesn't seem to recognize you and... he really, really would, if he was the one from that world, trust me.
I only met him once, it was awkward... and I really didn't get a great vibe from him.

[substances]

he wud? huh? y?

ya i wasn't super charmed by him askin where the comp was w/o like offering to come w/ or whatever but maybe i'm on edge cuz of that balls deep guy

ppl seem more like
'wats in it 4 me' here than the last place

[deadlycurves]

The other you that was there was... at the very least sleeping with him... possibly dating? It was a... really confusing meeting. [And that fact, especially with Klaus' 'significant other' mention in the middle of that crazy meeting had really felt off, too. Especially after the conversation he'd had with Diego about the dead soldier from the war.] Yeah, I don't blame you. He's not exactly a charming dude. I can agree with that, for the place I was in, too. Is it weird I'm more okay with that, than with people trying to offer help? [Probably says a lot about him, and all of their raising.]

[substances]

wait WAT
r u srs??

wtf

srsly wtf other me was DATING him?
i cannot imagine dating sum1 rite now
it wud hurt too much
i slept w/ sum1 in hadriel and had a breakdown after
cant imagine more than that

u wud be
but ya its easier to tell whos legit

[deadlycurves]

Yeah, it didn't make sense to me, either. They were acting like a pair of kids caught making out in a broom closet when a few of us found them making coffee in the kitchen. And honestly? Suddenly, apparently, dating some guy none of us had even heard a single breath about, a week and a half after he had a breakdown all over my bed about... Dave, I think is what he said the guy's name was? Was double the weird and non-sensical. [He doesn't mean to just spring that on him blindly. But so many things happened, and made so little sense, it was hard to try and reconcile it all. And this version of his brother sounds so different than the one in Nonah. In ways that made more sense, lined up far more with what he knew about his brother.] Exactly.

text; after Diego messages her

[redwinekindofgirl]

What the fuck did you say to Diego.

text;

[substances]

he was riding my ass abt wanting 2 go get high on the spores or watevr
which ya i shoudntve done but
idk
i just told him a medbot gave me a bottle of oxy & i didnt take any & u have them

sorry is he yelling at you??

[redwinekindofgirl]

Not yet.
Don't worry about it babe I can stand up for myself.

Are you ok?

[substances]

i kno u can but u shouldnt have 2
if he does tell me & ill rip him a new one
i only said it b/c he wont believe me when i say i can actually say no 2 drugs now & i thought he mite believe u

not rly ok no

[redwinekindofgirl]

I believe you.

Wanna talk? Somewhere in person?

for diego;

[substances]

[from here]

[While he's waiting for his brother to respond, Klaus says his good-byes to Kabal, makes a mental note to come back later, and lets Kabal know he's gonna, then stomps his way up to the Agricultural area. He's not exactly crying, but his eyes are burning and he keeps scrubbing his hands over them in case he starts, not sure if it's the slowly receding high or the fact he's so pissed at Diego.

By the time Diego replies, Klaus is sitting in the hydroponics room where he's been tending to his tiny baby pot plants for the past month or so, after he'd worked out how to get his hands on the seeds and figured out his way around the computer.

The first thing Diego says is 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' and Klaus lets some of the tension drain out of himself. Doesn't reply until Diego has typed all his thoughts out. It's never been a good idea to interrupt Diego when he's trying to verbalize - better with text than speaking, but not by much. Diego's always had a hard time expressing himself, stutter or not. So he waits it out with his fingers pressed against his mouth, watching the words scroll by on the sat phone screen.

At first he's hurt, then he's angry, then he's relieved, and by the end of it he just feels exhausted and sad. Closing his eyes and tilting his head back, he rolls his words around in his head but can't make them line up in any way that makes sense.]

ya
valid
i kno im not exactly trustworthy i just guess i hoped mabye i earned a little the past few months u kno

think this mite be part of the detox process
actually
i always get depressed around this point
i dont even kno wats wrong w/ me or wats upsetting me
dont kno wat i want to happen or wat outcome is 1 i want

diego compared to 'real bad'
numb feels great

i dont kno how to be ok

[deadlycurves]

That's the thing. I want to be able to trust you, Klaus. I do. I guess I just...haven't tried enough in that regard so far. I'm sor [He deletes the last part before he sends that batch of texts. He won't grovel and beg, here. But...] What do you do to get through that part? I mean, besides just... end it by pumping more shit in your system. You've done rehab before... what do you do at this point in the process, usually? Is there anything I can do...? [He feels his chest clench tight again even asking that. He wants to, he wants to help so bad, but he feels like the whole prospect is nothing more than trying to catch smoke with bare hands. He's at such a loss, he doesn't even know where to start.] But it can get better. That's the other side of real bad, Klaus. If you just don't go backwards first. I don't know if any of us do, really. But we're here together. There's four of us, I mean. If we stick together. If we try more. We have to do better. Be better than we were. Let us help, Klaus. Let me help.

[substances]

i want you to
but like i dont blame u man
its fine
it sucks but it makes sense & its fine

i dunno
ive never got through that part
even in rehab u can always get drugs
this is the longest ive been sober in like
since i was 13?
how long even is that
im shit at math & there was time travel
fuck my life

i dunno wat u can do man
i dont think ne1 can
maybe dave
i fuckin miss dave so bad i can't

[It takes a while for the next text to come because that finally pushed him over the edge from not-crying to crying, and his hands are shaking, he can barely see the screen.]

the only time i almost took those oxy was when vanya got here b/c i felt so awful about how bad we fucked up w/ her
y should she try 2 help me?
bens always been there & he helps a lot but

its not
how do u figure out wat ur supposed 2 do w/ ur life?
like idk how to do anything but be high or look for drugs
ive accomplished shit

y should u try 2 help me either?
i havent done shit for u
sorry i dont kno wat im sayin
having u around more has been good

[deadlycurves]

It's not fine. I don't like not being able to, it's not supposed to be like that. Really? I mean, I know people skirt the rules all the time in places like that but I figured at least one of the times, you probably did it all the way. 16 years. it's... 16 years. maybe 17 with that. I know, it sucks. It's... I'm sorry, Klaus... [He waits when there's a lull, wondering if he's okay. If he's still there. If. If. If. But he doesn't push, the same way Klaus didn't push while he waited for him, either.] Because you're one of the ones that was trying the most for her, back home. Maybe not perfect, none of us are, ever. We all suck at the family thing. But while everyone was trying to figure out contingencies you were saying let's ask her, how about we talk to her. Maybe she doesn't know that yet, but... honestly, Klaus, you should tell her. You may have been there at that theater with the same intent as the rest of us, but you were trying to appeal to something else before that. If I ever figure that out, I'll tell you. The only thing I wanted got ripped away, and I just slid back into what I knew. You fought in a war, right? I'm pretty sure that's not nothing, Klaus. Because I know you can be, and have, better than you have in all these years if you'd just try for it. But you don't ever want to put in the effort to get there, because it's so much easier to just go the familiar route instead. Good things are never easy. Where are you right now?

[substances]

ya well ppl arent supposed 2 be junkies either but what can ya do?
im not trustworthy

ya rehab only does its job if u want it 2
& my rehab was mostly mandated
except that time allison sent me
but like u dont say no to allison when she wants sumthing

probly 17 i was in nam 4 10 months
& i was not sober in nam

[He can't talk about Dave right now, he can't, and Diego doesn't know what to say anyway, there's no point for either of them, and Klaus is already tired of crying today.]

i guess
i wanted 2 try 4 all of u but like no one listens 2 her
including me & i was 2 fuckin high all the time 2 do her any good
then i wanted 2 & no one wud listen 2 me either

sorry di
i still think u woudlve been a really good cop
1 of the rare ones

fuck man i fought in 2
i didnt do that because i was altruistic or nething
i just didnt want 2 die or leave dave

i get it ok diego i fuckin get it im a weak pathetic bastard ok?
can we not right now

im in the agricultural area w/ julie she brought me water
figured id come back 2 the quad after i hang w/ her

text; after Ben's post about the cameras

[redwinekindofgirl]

Hey, babe. Are you okay?

@lazarus | text

[benhargreeves]

[ Ben has just had the day from hell and Klaus is nowhere to be found in their quarters which, considering the state of mind Ben's in right now, means he is terrified that he is dead or being tortured somewhere, so he sends a text with shaking hands: ]

Where are you? Are you okay? I need to know you're okay right now.

[substances]

[This doesn't sound good...]

im fine
i promise
want me 2 send a pic?

[benhargreeves]

[ God, Klaus knows him way too well, he didn't even have to ask. ]

Yes, please.

[substances]

np gimme a moment

[A few seconds later, after a bit of fiddling because he usually only uses this thing to text, he sends a photo of himself. He's obviously down in the park, leaning against a tree trunk.]

r u ok?